DISTINGUISHING QUALITIES OF AN IDEAL CHRISTIAN HUSBAND:
As we have seen already from previous entries, there are certain distinguishing features that qualify a man as an ideal husband. These qualities set him apart from other men. In this column, we will consider in details those outstanding qualities you should have as a Christian man in order to be a good husband.
Is it not enough to be a Christian? Doesn’t a Christian automatically qualify as an ideal husband? you may ask. Not exactly! Certainly, you can never become God’s ideal husband if you are not a born-again Christian and living a righteous, Holy life. You must first confess and repent of all known sins, including the promiscuous and double life you may have live, then accept JESUS as your LORD and Saviour and start living a new life in Him.
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV
“For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men,”
Titus 2:11 KJV
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:”
Ephesians 2:8 KJV
“But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name:”
John 1:12 KJV
But even as a Christian, you need to work at your marriage in order to make it a haven. Marriage is not something you walk into with both eyes closed and expect to succeed therein, just because you are a Christian. It doesn’t work that way.
Marriage is a school where you never stop learning and adjusting.
As someone puts it, “it is the only school where you get the Certificate before you start. It’s also a school where you will never graduate 👩🎓. It’s a school without a break or free period. It’s a school where no one is expected to drop out. It’s a school you will have to attend everyday of your life. It’s a school where there is no sick leave or holidays. It’s a school founded by God Almighty on the following:
1. The foundation of Love ❤️.
2. The walls are made out of Trust.
3. The door 🚪 out of acceptance.
4. The windows out of understanding.
5. The furniture made out of blessings.
6. The roof out of Faith.”
That’s why you will need to work on yourself and possess certain distinguishing qualities to make your marriage work.
LOVE AND AFFECTION
I have spoken about this quality elsewhere. Let me just add here that the love I’m talking about is neither romantic nor sexual. It is agape- God’s kind of love.
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 KJV
Characteristics of Conjugal Love:
Agape love makes you patient and bear with your wife’s excesses and weakness. The Bible calls the woman the “weaker vessel”. This connotes she is delicate and fragile physically and emotionally, hence you should handle her with care. In relating with your wife, you will need to display the following virtues:
1. Tenderness. You should be tender, not bossy, domineering, showing brutal force or physical strength while relating with her.
2. Politeness. Also, be polite to her and be considerate of her feelings.
3. Sociability. Be sociable, cheerful and happy with her the same way you are sociable, cheerful and happy with people in your office. Have a sense of humour; play with your children; and let it be fun to have you around. Make your home lively.
4. Understanding. More importantly, understand your wife. Strive to understand the fluctuations in her mood. Women’s temperament and feelings change from time to time. They have some peculiarities that are unique to them. Different women have different reactions to a problem though. You must know your wife’s reactions to certain issues. Sometimes, your wife might be moody. She might appear sullen and incommunicable. This is not necessarily because something is wrong with her spiritually or morally. The problem could be physical, emotional or psychological due to hormonal changes in her body. So, you must be careful and observant in order to understand her temperaments and the reasons for her mood swings ( more on this subject in chapter four).
5. Fairness. Moreover, you must be fair to her in every area, especially in financial matters. Be realistic when planning the family budget. Don’t give her less than she requires. If you give her anything less than she requires, the likelihood is that you will receive less than you deserve. In essence, if you do not treat her fairly in financial matters, don’t expect her to do much with the money you gave to her.
6. Privacy. Be private with her as well. Never rebuke her openly. When you want to correct her, do it in private. If you don’t want your children to disrespect her, don’t correct her while they are around. Don’t correct her in the presence of your parents either, lest they make derogatory remarks about her. Correct her when others are not within earshot. The privacy of your bedroom would be the best place to do this. Correct your wife privately, but commend her publicly. Never run her down before anyone, no matter how low she falls below your expectations. Focus on her strengths and showcase those in public before your children, parents, friends, church members, Pastor and neighbours.
7. Trust. Trust your wife. Don’t be suspicious of her, and be unwilling to believe any ill report of her, unless it is open and glaring, well supported, and there is full evidence of it.
To be continued next month if our LORD JESUS tarries in His coming.
Are you ready?
Be Rapture Ready.
“And the LORD shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto His Heavenly Kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.”
2 Timothy 4:18 KJV
Mrs Angelinah Olubunmi Peters
My LORD JESUS Is Alive In me