MY PRESS PLAY PEOPLE (PPP)
Today let’s do something different. While I’m in the middle of listening diligently to Olamide’s latest offering “Eyan Mayweather” and breaking it down to provide a detailed, honest review for you, I thought we would digress a bit and just have some conversation. Here is ‘THE CHEATING BLAME GAME’.
WHY DO WE COMMMEND GUYS THAT DO NOT CHEAT?
We typecast the men in our lives.
“All men are the same”. “Guys are just like that”. “There is no good man”.
Even while acknowledging the fact that majority of our lives directly or indirectly are centred on the male specie, we constantly reduce them to the oversimplified category of all being bad people. We expect them to cheat; sometimes we even push them to. When we know of a man in a well-grounded, loving relationship, we wait for him to cheat. We anticipate the news of him doing so.
When a man has wronged a woman, without hearing the details, we will immediately assume that it was a case of infidelity. Many times, if a relationship goes sour, we are quick to ask our partners “Is there someone else?”
The definition of trust is analogous in most human societies. For many, trust is intertwined with ego and jealousy. The ultimate break of trust thus is that which involves the trusted party associating with other people in a way which one seems inappropriate. This is the case with human relationships; romantic or otherwise.
We take cheating as a serious offense. Believe me, it is. But sometimes, we base an entire relationship on cheating, or the absence of.
He hits me, but at least he’s not cheating!
He is always busy with work; at least I know he’s not with someone else!
The absence of infidelity is more important to us in fact than the presence of love and respect in a relationship. Our definition of trust in a partner is exclusivity.
I do not commend guys that do not cheat. I do not think they are doing anything special. A relationship is a two way street, and whether or not a man is faithful could be traced either to the kind of relationship he has built with his partner or to the kind of person he is as an individual, as opposed to the societal stereotype of all male folk. Unfortunately, I often find myself alone in this school of thought.
When we women see that friend of ours whose partner is cheating, or once cheated, or we feel will cheat, we feel sorry for her, like she doesn’t have what we enjoy. We see her has being less loved by her own partner than we are by ours and as being unlucky. Even if she forgives her partner and they move past it, we regard their relationship as being defective. “She can never have what we have.”
Within the field of love, cheating is the paramount sin.
Now let me repeat the question.
“WHY DO WE COMMEND GUYS THAT DO NOT CHEAT?”
In the world of the blind, the one-eyed man reigns supreme. We see any other flaw or shortcoming of a man as secondary to cheating. He can break the law, but he must not cheat. As long as his rap sheet with us is clean, he is an angel. We find it distinctive to come across a man who has never had an affair outside a relationship. These kinds are regarded as rare gems and held in the utmost esteem.
We will make up excuses for the worst habits and most irritating qualities as long as a man does not cheat. In fact, it has gotten so bad that women today feel indebted to non-cheating partners, like they deserve a special prize for not breaking the number one rule. When you ask a lady to list the best attributes of her man, she will include the fact that he does not cheat. To her, solely for that,he is a real catch.
We commend guys that do not cheat because we believe that to be the prime quality of a good man. We commend faithful men because they are scarce and even thought to be extinct by some women, and the mere opportunity of meeting one of them is considered a chance of a lifetime.
Cheating is at an all-time high in society. The perpetrators are more often male. We have watched great and influential men fall to the hands of cheating scandals. We have watched even the “holiest” of men be unfaithful to their partners. The disease of infidelity has eaten into our society and become the norm. It is everywhere, and therefore a guy that remains loyal to his partner in this present day is, to us, a king.
We commend guys that do not cheat because they are a rare breed. We commend them because they conform to the ideal image of man that we have in our heads as opposed to the bad guy image that has been created by society. We commend them because we see loyalty as a special, matchless, quality.
We applaud males who do not cheat because we do not fathom how they could stay faithful. We do not expect them to be that way.
We celebrate their difference.
WHY ARE WE QUICK TO CONDEMN GIRLS THAT CHEAT?
All women are pure.
Pure, angelic, beatific creatures whose feet do not touch the ground.
Why should they cheat?
Are They Mad?
The Writer of this piece is a girl. She has cheated on a partner before.