This topic has crossed my mind and I once even put it in my blog post schedule, but I just kept postponing it because I’ve been worried about what people would say.
Yes, I also worry about what people would say sometimes, as I’m not an Ice Queen so I have feelings to protect, but since speaking to my friend after he asked for my insight on the topic, I’ve decided to shun this mini worry and just write my piece.
Christian Women are one of the most sought after life partners when marriage is being considered, the ideal Christian woman is God-fearing, patient, gentle, kind, not envious, isn’t arrogant, selfish nor easily provoked…and all other charitable characteristics highlighted in 1 Cor 13 – isn’t she just lovely? So of course she’s highly sought after and she has to sift through suitors before making the life changing decision regarding who she’ll settle down with.
This post most probably can’t contain all the expectations as I don’t like writing long posts (the attention span of millennials is rather on the short side) so I’ll continue it later on, but we’ll start with 3 points:
At a singles conference I attended during my A-Levels once, a speaker said:
“A woman’s heart should be so deep within Christ that a man has to know Christ to get to know her”.
That phrase has stuck with me ever since. It’s not enough to go to church or have a Bible devotional routine – there needs to be a genuine relationship with God & the fear of God. Not “scared” fear, more like reverence or adoration fear, put simply the respect of God’s awesomeness. Quite frankly, it’s the fear of God that truly differentiates a Godly man from any other guy on the street; where physiologically a man is prone to cheating, the fear of God keeps him in check. After all, a lot of men that cheat on their wives truly do love them, but they couldn’t help themselves – God helps Godly men.
Women are directed to submit to their partner by the scriptures, but what happens where she can’t? When the partner being submitted to doesn’t even know where he’s going or what he’s doing? Should she follow blindly?
Christian Women should ascertain if they can follow the man proposing a lifetime partnership; ladies nowhere in 1 Cor 13 did it say “love is blind” – if you can’t see any traces of leadership in Him there’s nothing wrong with walking away, because staying risks you building a relationship with poorly defined roles, which would be detrimental to the welfare of the relationship and it’s products, aka your children, who will still eventually learn the ideal roles outside the home and have trouble reconciling why things aren’t like that in their home.
It’s avoidable stress.
Following up closely to leadership is ambition. Does he know what he wants in life and how he’s going to get it? He can say “I wanna build an empire with you” but does he even have the sketch drawn out? Has he counted the costs and are his goals/objectives “SMART” (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely/Time-Bound)? Does he have back-up plans?
Ambition is so much more than declarations, one has to have the energy to keep driving, because in life one cannot possibly expect smooth sails all the time. What if a door that had always been open suddenly shuts. How would he deal with that? How does he deal with problems generally? Does he whine and complain or does he brainstorm solutions? Does he listen to advice? Does he have wise mentors?
This post is low-key getting long lol.
I do hope I’ve stirred up some thoughts and hope to hear back from you in the comments!
Love & Peace,