Problems of Poor Communication in Marriage:
Just as proper communication is the foundation of a strong, healthy relationship, poor communication is the bone of a successful marriage. Poor communication with your spouse can come in different forms. They include yelling, silent-treatment or not talking, talking then being unwilling to listen, trading blame, name-calling, criticism and sarcasm, aggressive statements or actions, keeping or hiding secrets, labelling him/her as bad rather than saying the behaviour is wrong, using ultimatums or threats, hurting or harming him/her.
What effects will poor communication with your wife have on your marriage?
It will lead to excessive marital conflicts, ineffective problem solving, weak emotional bonding and lack of intimacy, marital separation, behavioural problems as well as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem in your children and divorce.
The devil always seeks to hinder proper communication in marriage. So, to prevent him from wrecking your marriage, be born-again and lead your family to the same experience if you are not a genuine born-again Christian. Close up the communication gap in your home as a Christian husband, and communicate frequently with your wife.
The most difficult challenge facing couples today is spending time together. With your busy schedules, it may be difficult to find sufficient time to spend with your wife in meaningful conversation, yet it is extremely important that you make time to communicate with her frequently. Talk in the car, eat dinner together; schedule informal or formal meetings to talk about important issues that affect the spiritual and secular life of your family; have daily morning and night devotion where you read the Bible and pray together as a family; and talk to her at bedtime. Use other creative ways to make time to communicate with her even when she is distant from you. Take advantage of the modern information technology: phone call, email and the social media to reach her always. Apply the principles of proper communication above, and learn to invite God into your home and conversations. Remember, clear, open, honest, good proper, effective, and frequent communication is the key to a healthy marriage. So, don’t leave any communication gap in your marriage. Close it up.
As a final point, the husband must be involved in the rearing and discipline of the children. In Ephesians 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the LORD.”
Ephesians 6:4 KJV.
“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”
Colossians 3:21 KJV
And “Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)”
1 Timothy 3:3-5 KJV.
We learn that men should wisely rule their own household and bring up their children in the way of the LORD. The husband doesn’t leave the training and discipline of the children solely to his wife, but shares in their training. He is to direct the household with concern for each member, and should see to their spiritual development by the life he lives and the direction in which he leads them.
Although societal view, coupled with cultural diversity, has got some people confused about what the roles and responsibilities of the husband should be, the Bible is clear on the role he should play in the home. As a Christian husband, you are to love your wife unconditionally and sacrificially
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
Ephesians 5:25 KJV
That means you will do whatever will bring out the best in her, regardless of the cost. Affirm your love for her and tell how much you value her. Don’t expect her to read your mind to ascertain how much you love her. Practically, in words and action, demonstrate your love for her. Know her needs – spiritual, emotional, physical, and material needs – and meet those needs. Assist her to fulfil her lofty ambitions, be it spiritual or secular. Value and see her as a gift from God.
Being the physically and emotionally weaker one, you should treat her gently, tenderly, delicately, fairly, and understandingly. Don’t treat her with neglect and contempt, or with inhumanity and severity. Obey the Scripture that says the strong should bear the infirmities of the weak. Bear with and accommodate her weaknesses, and don’t expose them to a third party, nor despise her on account of them. Spend time to listen to her and know how she feels. A woman craves for attention, so shower her with attention. Never make her feel neglected or unwanted. When you shower love and affection on her, she will automatically love and respect you in return “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the LORD the church:”
Ephesians 5:25, 28-29 KJV.
When you’re at home, help her with the household chores, even without her asking. It could mean a lot to her. Help with the children and show that you care about them. By studying and knowing her, you will win her heart and affection. D.L. Moody says, “if I want to find out whether a man was a Christian, I wouldn’t go to a minister; I’d go and ask his wife. If a man doesn’t treat his wife right, I don’t want to hear him talk about Christianity”. What is the use of talking about salvation for the next life if he has no salvation for this life?” So, treat your wife right.
Aside from the deep love and affection you shower on your wife, you should ensure you fend for your family, because God expects you as the man to be the primary income-earner and breadwinner of the family “Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.”
1 Timothy 5:5 KJV
You should also protect her, have healthy communication with her and be involved in the training and discipline of the children.
May God continue to bless us and our entire household in JESUS Mighty Name Amen 🙏.
JESUS LOVES YOU! ❤️
Rapture is Imminent!