HAPPY NEW YEAR AND WELCOME TO OUR NEW SERIES OF
“THE IDEAL HUSBAND”
“The LORD gave the word: great was the company of those that published it.”
Psalms 68:11 KJV
Marriage was instituted by God in the Garden of Eden as a union between man and woman.
Genesis 2:8-24: “And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.
And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads. The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold; And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone.
And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia. And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.
And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Genesis 2:1-24 KJV.
It is a covenant relationship, dissolvable ONLY by the death of a partner.
Malachi 2:14-16: “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of Hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.”
Malachi 2:14-16 KJV.
1 Corinthians 7:39: “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the LORD.”
1 Corinthians 7:39 KJV.
Once you get married, it is no longer up for debate as to whether your spouse is the “right one”. Marriage makes them the right one, it is a lifelong commitment before God Almighty. It is never to be based on shifting feelings, but a choice everyday to love ❤️ the spouse you have chosen to marry. This truth doesn’t make sense to our permissive, promiscuous world 🌍, but God’s Word is very clear on it. “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Matthew 19:6 KJV.
Contrary to the view that marriage is a “50/50 relationship “; that is, each partner must be willing to give their half (50%) in order for their marriage to be successful, the marriage relationship takes two people who are fully or 100% committed to each other and to God, choosing every day to love and cherish one another. 50/50 will never be enough to see you through the toughest times. It is only half effort and seeks to compare what you are doing with what your spouse is doing, always needing to check up to see if they are keeping up with expectations. This is not what God intends.
God’s plan for marriage is to establish a covenant relationship like the one Christ has with the Church, a relationship that makes Him love the Church and the Church submit to Him both in good and bad times. It is a relationship that endures and lasts through thick and thin, a relationship based on enduring love, for the Bible says that love “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:7 KJV.
It will take the full effort of 100/100 to have a strong relationship which will thrive over time, and to ensure such commitment exists in marriage, God, in His divine wisdom, has assigned specific roles to each spouse, which can be summarised with the terms, “head” and “submit”. The husband is the head of the marriage union: 1 Corinthians 11:3: “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”
1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV.
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Saviour of the body.”
Ephesians 5:23 KJV.
Headship, however, does not mean male domination, harshness or oppression, but the responsibility to initiate and implement moral planning for the family. The wife should also give her input, opinions, or ideas, though the husband must accept the burden of taking the final decision in times of disagreement, which is seldom needed.
The husband leads with an attitude of love. Christ’s love for the Church provides the model: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
Ephesians 5:25 KJV. “He loves his wife as he would his body, nourishing and cherishing her: “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the LORD the church:”
Ephesians 5:28-29 KJV.
He gives himself sacrificially for her benefit as Christ sacrificially loved the Church. Such love rules out treating her like a child or servant; rather, he assists her to be a “fellow heir”. He treats her with respect and consideration, bestowing honour on her both privately and in public:
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
1 Peter 3:7 KJV
He leads like Christ, being considerate of her with knowledge and respect, and considering her ideas and opinions because they may be better than his own. Leadership’s goal is not to show the leader’s superiority, but to elicit all the strengths of the people he leads for the desired objective.
Aside from the deep love and affection for his wife, the husband is to appropriately provide for and protect her: 1 Timothy 5:8: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
1 Timothy 5:8 KJV
This does not mean that the wife cannot assist in supporting the family, for Proverb 31:10-31: demonstrates that a godly wife should do so.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”
Proverbs 31:10-31 KJV. But the husband must always be willing to suffer for his wife’s safety.
On the other hand, the wife is to submit to the headship of the husband: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the LORD.”
Ephesians 5:22 KJV. God has given the prerogative of headship to the man, and no family prospers where that arrangement is violated. The wife must submit to the husband in everything except issues bordering on conscience and The Word of God, and never undermine his authority for any reason.
The basic meaning of submission is “to submit or subordinate to a higher authority” it is a predisposition to yield to the Husband’s Leadership and a willingness to follow his authority.
The husband does not command the wife to do this. The verb “submit” implies that she does this voluntarily. Submission does not imply that the wife is inferior, less intelligent, or less competent, neither does it indicate that she puts her husband in the place of Christ. Christ is Supreme in all things!
The submissive wife does not give up independent thought. Believing wives with unbelieving husbands think independently, while still submitting to their husbands:
“And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they Holy.”
1 Corinthians 7:13-14 KJV
She might seek to influence her husband to do right and to guide him in righteousness:
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.”
1 Peter 3:1-2 KJV
Submission never signifies that a wife gives in to her husband’s every demand. If the demands are unrighteous, she submits to her higher authority of JESUS Christ.
The wife submits with an attitude of honour, reverence, and respect: “So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him.”
Psalms 45:11 KJV
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33 KJV
She affirms and nurtured her husband’s leadership. She submits in the same manner that the Church submits to Christ:
“Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
1 Peter 3:6 KJV
This analogy provides a good gauge. The wife demonstrates a gentle and quiet spirit:
“But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”
1 Peter 3:4 KJV. Not demanding her own way or insisting on her rights. A wife’s respect is primarily for the role of leadership that her husband occupies, not necessarily for his merits, though that would be the ideal. She recognises his God-given leadership with regard and deference.
Other roles of the wife include supporting the husband in providing for the family (as I have mentioned before), especially if she earns a good income and can cope with such responsibility as well as be the homemaker and caregiver for the children:
“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Titus 2:4-5 KJV
The fundamental role of each spouse is couched in Ephesians 5:33: “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33 KJV. Your troubled marriage can grow into a blessed lasting relationship when you as a husband play your Scriptural Rome appropriately.
Assuming your God -given role and responsibility as a husband makes you God’s Ideal Husband, which is the thrust of this series, on marriage.
In conclusion, we have considered the qualities of God’s Ideal husband, his responsibilities to God Almighty and to his wife, and dispelled some modern myths or views on who an ideal husband is. It is a must read for every man, married or single.
May the LORD God Almighty continue to uphold us and lead us by His Spirit throughout this month, this year, this decade and beyond; to the glory of His Holy name Amen 🙏🏾.
Be on the look 👀 out for our next topic on:
“Biblical Portrait Of An Ideal Husband“
BE RAPTURE READY!
Mrs Angelinah Olubunmi Peters
My LORD JESUS Is Alive In me