Sub-Topic: Signs of Immaturity in a Married Man
Immaturity is often a characteristic associated with children. Marks of immaturity in children include selfish attitudes, ingratitude, demands to have their own way, lack of a sense of responsibility and obligation, wrong reaction to conflicts and problems, poor judgment, and thinking that happiness comes without giving. Unfortunately, some adults never outgrow childhood immaturity, and they demonstrate it in their marriage. The following are some signs of immaturity in a married man:
1. SELF-centredness: Some men are so self-centred that they don’t care about the feelings of their wives. Sadly, many young women go ahead to marry such men even when they demonstrate this attitude during their courtship. They don’t see this as a sign that these young men who don’t care about anyone but themselves, probably won’t care about their feelings either, once they marry them.
2. INGRATITUDE: Some men are as ungrateful as a 5-year-old child. They hardly say “Thank you” to their wives because they feel they are their slaves or “unprofitable servant(s)” who have only done that which was their duty to do (“So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.”
Luke 17:10 KJV). Often the words are absent because the feeling is absent.
They are simply ingrates.
3. Quarreling: Some men are always arguing and quarreling with their wives because they don’t want to shift ground or accept wrong. They have difficulty listening to their spouse’s opposing opinion or understanding their viewpoints. They are always angry when their wives disagree with them on some matters because they always want to have their way.
TYPES AND MARKS OF MATURITY IN MARRIAGE:
Maturity is not simply based on age or physical appearance; it involves other areas of life. We have different types of maturity and all these show in marriage.
1. Physical Maturity: Marriage is not for children or teenagers; it is for adults. So, anyone who wants to be married must be mature physically. Marriage is neither a crèche nor a day care; it is a place of work and responsibility.
2. Financial Maturity: An ideal Christian husband must be willing to work and provide for his family. He must have a regular income and be prudent with it. If he doesn’t, he is not fit to be a husband, let alone an ideal one (“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
1 Timothy 5:8 KJV).
3. Spiritual Maturity: The Christian husband must be born-again and understand God’s principles on marriage as they relate to leadership, love, parenting, contentment, commitment, faithfulness, responsibilities, oneness, submission to quality prayer life and love for the Bible (“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
Genesis 2:24-25 KJV,
“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Matthew 19:4-6 KJV;
“And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our LORD JESUS Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.”
2 Peter 1:5-9 KJV).
4. Social Maturity: The husband must be sociable, able to strengthen his ability to make and keep friends; have a sense of humour; communicate with his wife; commend, appreciate and praise her; apologies to her when he’s wrong; play with his wife his children, and be readily willing to change and adjust where necessary.
5. Sexual Maturity: The Christian man must be willing to keep to one sex partner – his wife. He must be able to control his sexual drive and banish lust from his heart.
6. Emotional Maturity: He must develop the gracious ability to handle his anger, overcome his fear and swallow his pride. He must also know how to show love to his wife. His daily lifestyle must be characterised by boldness, faith, courage, tolerance, forbearance and meekness. He must be able to manage stress or crisis; be dogged in time of test and trials; and never submit to defeat.
The marks of the Christian husband’s maturity include:
1. Independence: (“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24 KJV;
“And He answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?”
Matthew 19:4-5 KJV;
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”
Ephesians 5:31 KJV),
2. Mature Attitude Toward Sex:
(“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 KJV,
“Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
Proverbs 5:15-19 KJV).
3. Capacity To Live Up To Commitments: “When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee.
That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the LORD thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth.”
Deuteronomy 23:21, 23 KJV,
“In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the LORD. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not.”
Psalms 15:4 KJV,
“Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.”
Malachi 2:14 KJV
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Matthew 19:6 KJV, and a sound Spiritual life.
Happy New Month.
May God Almighty continue to bless and keep us all, from every evil work in JESUS Mighty Name Amen 🙏.
“And the LORD shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto His Heavenly Kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.”
2 Timothy 4:18 KJV
Mrs Angelinah Olubunmi Peters
My LORD JESUS Is Alive In me