Happy New Month
Happy Easter ! May the resurrection power brings God’s Grace, goodness and mercy into our lives in JESUS Mighty Name Amen 🙏.
Topic: Principles of Proper Communication in Marriage:
Communication involves the ability to pay attention to what others are thinking and feeling. In other words, an important part of communication in marriage is not just talking, but listening to what your spouse has to say.
In James1:19, the apostle James points out three elements of proper communication:
Listening, talking and self-control, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”
James 1:19 KJV
Little or no communication takes place unless someone listens and someone speaks! If you talk and your spouse is not listening, there is no communication. If you listen and she is unwilling to talk, there is no communication. That’s not all. There can be talking and listening but when anger enters the picture, proper communication ceases! Proper communication only takes place when there is listening and talking in the context of self-control.
So, to communicate with your wife effectively, there must be an exchange of feelings and information without you getting angry. Also, doors of communication with your wife will swing open if you will realise that your time and participation are necessary ingredients. While discussing with her, do not ignore her opinion or viewpoint, but weigh and evaluate it calmly. Your point or opinion as a person usually is not as important as a healthy, continuing relationship. You must show her courtesy and respect by listening and responding promptly to her while she’s talking to you. As you participate in meaningful associations, you are able to convey your thoughts of love, dependence, and interest.
Here are some biblical principles that will make communication with your wife more effective.
1. Sacrifice: “But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.”
Hebrews 13:16 KJV
Create time to be available. Develop the ability and self-discipline to think of her and her communication needs ahead of your own. Don’t be preoccupied with self, and don’t sow the seed of “can’t you see I’m busy? Don’t bother me now”. When you convey the attitude of “Go away, don’t bother me now”, a woman is apt to go elsewhere for her communication needs or isolate herself in silence. You must be willing to forego personal convenience to invest time in establishing a firm foundation for communication with your spouse. Understand that communication in Marriage is more than a sharing of words. It is the wise sharing of emotions, feelings, and concerns. “Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.”
James 3:13 KJV
2. Listening: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”
James 1:19-20 KJV
Listening is more than being quiet. It is much more than silence. Listening requires undivided attention. The time to listen is when someone needs to be heard. The time to deal with a person with a problem is when they have the problem. The time to listen is the time when your interest and love are vital to the one who seeks your ear, heart, help, and empathy. Develop the ability to ask comfortable questions, and then listen—-intently, naturally, and actively to your wife. Listening is a tied-in part of loving.
3. Talking: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”
James 1:19 KJV:
You should also voice your thoughts and feelings. Don’t let your wife assume how you feel toward her. Often, wrong conclusions are reached. Communicate effectively not only by voice, but also by your tone, feeling, glances, mannerisms and total personality. Giving her a meaningful smile, a lovely kiss, an appropriate pat on the shoulder, and a hug are all-important. Silence isolates. Strained silent periods cause hurt, and most often, wrong conclusions.
4. Self-control: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”
James 1:19 KJV: Try to be understanding and not critical. Don’t display shock, alarm, or disgust at your wife’s comments or observations, and don’t react violently. Be patient. Avoid bias and emotions, as well as imposing your values on her.
5. Truthfulness: “Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;”
Colossians 3:9 KJV
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;”
1 Peter 3:1 KJV: You must be truthful with her. Avoid lying, deceit, and exaggeration— destroy a good relationship.
1. Communicate that you care for her above anyone or anything else except God.
2. Communicate your admiration and love for her.
6. Consistency: Communication with your wife shouldn’t be like a time-tabled ritual. Find opportunity to talk to her every day and every time. Frequent and casual communication not only helps you to express your feelings exactly, but also encourages her to talk. Mutual communication helps you two grow in affectionate relationship with one another.
What should you communicate to your wife?
1. Communicate your faithfulness.
2. Communicate your dedication to provide for her financially.
To be continued..
To the singles: May the LORD connect you to the bone of your bones and flesh of your flesh, none shall want his/her mate, in JESUS Mighty Name Amen 🙏.
“Seek ye out of the book of the LORD, and read: no one of these shall fail, none shall want her mate: for my mouth it hath commanded, and his spirit it hath gathered them.”
Isaiah 34:16 KJV
To the Married: May the LORD continue to bless you and your entire household, may the third Person of the Trinity, God the Holy Spirit continue to be the Third person in your family and continue to bind you together with the cord that cannot be broken in JESUS Mighty Name Amen 🙏.
JESUS IS LORD.
He cares for you.
Rapture is Imminent.
Be prepared.
Shalom
Mrs Angelinah Olubunmi Peters
My LORD JESUS Is Alive In me
