For Butterflies

Shakespeare’s greatest dilemma

Comments (9)
  1. mr man says:

    Meanwhile the role of the wife/mother is to take care of the family, Cooking is a major part of taking care of the family. It’s not about self esteem, If the father chooses not to cook he shouldn’t be penalised whatsoever,i think… What if the husband cannot cook and his wife is unavailable, the family will starve?

    1. Feminist says:

      But if the man refuses to cook and he is hungry and his wife is unavailable i think that’s silly.
      Why let “duties”‘stand between oneself and common sense?

    2. Gloria says:

      thanks, err, methinks it is the role of both parents, not just the wife to take care of the family, if they’re both providers, why can’t they both be carers? would you say the same thing if the roles were reversed i.e. if the woman doesn’t want to work she should not be penalized, if we’re following your theory of gender roles in the family being independent from each other. I think it should be interdependent instead of strictly dependent, nothing wrong with the husband picking up where the wife left off and vice versa, that way they can both be pillars of support to each other.

  2. Leyira says:

    Ermm… I just think a wife of mine must knw how to cook…
    I dnt fink its her job… Its a duty. Duty in d sense of it being default (use d dictionary for duty for further understanding).
    D same sense dat tells u to go do ur chores wfout ur parents telling ya…Its a standard either pple like it or not… But it doesn’t mean d man should b useless in d kitchen too…
    D man can n should cook wen d wife aint available or for some reasons unable to do so (if he knws how to)
    So no matter how pple look at it… Its a must be quality of a good wife buh it doesn’t make it her job.
    So for me d argument doesn’t make sense…
    So I fink of it as it is… D wife is a support in all things. So on a default d man is d bread winner… While d wife actually takes care of d family including d man… So see dem play different roles buh support demselves in it as well so its nt an argument. Its jst understanding

    1. Gloria says:

      yes, I get that that’s how things work around here, i’m not trying to advocate that women do not cook or support their husbands but what if they’re both breadwinners and they’re both equally busy people, would it still be default as you put it, aren’t there such things as exceptions to rules?

  3. yimika says:

    I think it is expected for a woman to know how to cook, scratch that, it is the least minimum quality of any woman trying to build a successful home to know to cook. The downplaying or dismissing of this compulsory skill is just an excuse of those who are inept at it using “Professional, career, independent to cover it up. As u used personal references in your write up I will use mine. My mother is an highly placed career woman, worked on getting a Phd after marriage, I am surrounded by aunts who are all career women(no house wife) with the minimum qualification any of them possessing being a Phd and I assure they can and they do cook( their efo riro, egusi, garden egg stews, chocolate cake to name a few are legendary). I am not saying a woman must be restricted to d kitchen and only women should be in the kitchen as I think everyone should be in the kitchen( I mean food is there), but a woman must be capable of staying in the kitchen and cooking. Support from the the man in House keeping, cooking is also important especially in a home where the wife has an active professional life. Using a medical example a Senior Reg may decide or have no reason to set an IV access line bcos he has interns, Junior Reg but for the position he is holding he must be capable of setting one if need be. Funny how this breeds argument as I don’t see Men up in arms when it was said that the least expected of them is to actively contribute to their families income. PS. It is not masculine ego but foolishness to decide not to cook when you are dying of hunger and be waiting for your busy wife because you are “man” as it is equally unfortunate and just plain sad if a Man is hungry just because his wife can’t cook.

    1. Gloria says:

      if i follow you correctly, your conclusion seems to be that ‘both parties should be useful in the kitchen’ am I correct?

  4. Gloria i can cook for Africa to an extent i was thinking if my wife cant cook i will have to teach her, if she isnt available always i will have to help her with her duties. but you see the women in our society today don’t want this kind of men they want maids to cover up their flaws.
    it is simple if you dont know how to cook learn cus it will be needed for marraige your husband should know this in due process of courtship. if you wont be available always prepare it in bulk and refrigerate it. thanks

  5. Gloria says:

    Hi Luke, I wrote this a while ago and I’m glad that you got to read this and share your opinion, as you know, I’m growing just like you, having to learn, unlearn and relearn most things. To each his own is one of my new policies, I think different situations have different outlooks to them and so I have learnt that the things we give so much attention to eventually works out themselves. My advice would be to help women grow and learn whichever way they choose, it’s OK to cook, it’s OK not to, it’s just life, that’s all.

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