The title of this post was once “your mates are getting married” but then I decided to alter it to this because it’s more apt. At first, it’s your aunties and uncles both related by blood and not, that feel the need to constantly remind you of what other people (termed as “your mates”) are doing with their love lives; nowadays we do it to ourselves.
As you may know by now, I’m a medical student so, by default, I spend more years in school than a lot of other people. Being the meticulous person I am, I realized the fact that this could delay my time of marriage BEFORE I started applying for schools, and in fact it was one of the reasons I decided to study medicine – but that’s a story for another day. So it shocks me to my bone marrow when I meet people in the same course of study as myself who lament about this said issue: “chai! So-so and so has gotten engaged! Look at the introduction pictures on Instagram! It’s even featured on Bella Naija!” – people, let’s talk.
I believe that in every single thing in life, there’s a speed at which it is to be attained. We’ve all got our own lives to live and even if our lanes are side by side, else aren’t running the same race. But particularly this marriage issue – why the haste? We criticize celebrities for their failed marriages and blame it on their inability to critically assess their partners and their compatibility, yet we are the same ones pressurizing ourselves about marriage. In what way does this make sense my beloved readers? If you sit there and feel bad about yourself every time one of your “mates” announces that he/she is off the single market and you’re just in your early 20s, friend, you’re either going to rush yourself into a LIFE LONG COMMITMENT, or spend a long time feeling unaccomplished – both of which aren’t really nice experiences.
The race is not for the swift, nor the battle for the strong, comparing yourself to others rarely does anyone any good, rather it just fuels the fire of poor self-esteem which only warms you up to make hasty and seemingly thoughtless decisions – then get burnt.
Everything under the sun has its own time and season; the chef that marinates his chicken overnight and the Doctor that makes his chicken in 20 mins flat just in time to make it back to the ward before his consultant notices he left – don’t get the same results.
You’re special and you deserve to be well marinated.
Enjoy the process; it makes the end goal all the more pleasurable.
My mates are getting married!!
