Marriage can be likened to a journey when the desire first comes into your heart ❤️. That is why I began with an overview of marriage as a God-ordained institution. I went through some other milestones along the road of marriage. I believe you now know how to find, know and do the WILL of God in marriage. In the preceding chapter, you went through courtship with me. Here, I will focus on the consummation of your marriage.
By now you know that marriage is for LIFE. Consequently, there is every reason for you to know the perfect will of God for you with regards to the person you should marry. Having done this, then you go through the following stages.
Price of Marriage
Pattern of Marriage Ceremony.
Christians must follow a principle of parental respect ✊ in their marriage plan. You cannot see any sister in the fellowship and drag her to the altar. When a believing brother does that he is courting a problem from the sister’s parents. Even the Laws of the land do not support such methods of marriage. And it should not be found among believers. “Let all things be done decently and in order.”
1 Corinthians 14:40 KJV. We are told that all things must be done decently and in order.
The next thing the brother does (after confirming he has been led of God with all the principles of testing getting the pastor’s approval, telling the sister and receiving her consent- duly applied) is to tell his parents about this virtuous woman that God has given him. The sister does the same thing also. The brother and the sister must talk to their individual parents with enthusiasm, confidence and persuasion. Tell them lovingly and assuringly, not with a shaking voice which is devoid of conviction. Anything short of assurance and self-confidence will attract criticism. Paint 🎨 the picture of your partner in the best and most sincere way you can. Assure them of His or her love❤️. Tell them God has a hand in it. Make them see that they need to see him or her as soon as possible. Heighten their expectation and do this with love ❤️, respect ✊ and honour.
But at times, parents don’t accept the God-given partner. Their objections sometimes border on tribal sentiments. Most mothers desire their daughters remain within their reach. Some parents like their daughters or sons to marry someone within their locality. At other times, parents talk about the social status or family background of the partner. Sometimes parents threaten they would have nothing to do with the marriage.
But this is temporary. It is transient. It is a phase (which will surely pass) in your journey towards marriage. The question is how do you handle this stage?
Never cry 😭 or weep at this stage.
Don’t go back to doubt and unbelief.
Don’t go doubting that God’s hand is in it.
Learn from the experience of the disciples and Moses.
“Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side. And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest. And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head. And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead. And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him. And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep. And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him! And when he was come to the other side………”
Matthew 8:18-28 KJV
Our LORD JESUS gave a commandment to depart unto the other sides in the eighteenth verse. But the disciples did not get to the other side until the twenty-eight verse. Between verse 18 when the command was issued and verse 28 when they eventually crossed over, the disciples were faced with a grave challenge. Between the time you hear 👂 the voice of God concerning whom to marry and the fulfilment of the promise is a chain of traumatic experiences.
For the disciples, they were faced with a great tempest and the ship 🚢 was covered with waves 🌊 . They were afraid 😳 that they would perish in the raging 😤 sea 🌊. The Master even rebuked them in the midst of all these.”Why are ye fearful 😧, O ye of little faith?” But you know, the tempest was stilled and finally they went over “to the other side”
You might have this same experience in your courtship. But you should stand firm in the WILL of God. Remember that in the tempest, the disciples did not say that it probably wasn’t the WILL of God to cross over to the other side after all. Borrow a leaf 🍃 from the disciples. Never doubt after the WILL of God has been revealed to you.
Note 📝 that either parents objections stand as a tempest, trial and threat of doom. But if you stand your ground you will get to the other side.
Proverbs 21:1 encourages, “The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.”
Proverbs 21:1 KJV. God will turn the hearts 💕 of your parents and those of your partners to work in your favour, as long as you remain steadfast in HIS WILL.
Exodus 5:1-2 KJV relates the experience of Moses.
“And afterward Moses and Aaron went in, and told Pharaoh, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Let my people go, that they may hold a feast unto me in the wilderness. And Pharaoh said, Who is the Lord, that I should obey his voice to let Israel go? I know not the Lord, neither will I let Israel go.”
Exodus 5:1-2 KJV
Before the LORD told Moses His perfect will for his life leading Israel out of Egypt 🇪🇬 He knew that Pharaoh will resist and He was ready for the battle. Same goes for your marriage. Before the LORD reveals HIS WILL to you, He knows your parents may go against it, and He has prepared for that battle.
So, from the moment Pharaoh objected to God’s will, God began to work. In Exodus 8:19 “Then the magicians said unto Pharaoh, This is the finger of God: and Pharaoh’s heart was hardened, and he hearkened not unto them; as the Lord had said.”
Exodus 8:19 KJV
his magicians 🎩 clearly told him, “This is the finger of God.” In spite of all this, Pharaoh did not accept immediately.
“And Moses and Aaron were brought again unto Pharaoh: and he said unto them, Go, serve the LORD your God: but who are they that shall go?”
Exodus 10:8 KJV
Pharaoh began to yield and surrender. But that was a partial and half-hearted concession. The LORD neither goes for anything sub-standard nor concedes to anything that objects HIS WILL.
What do we learn in that?
Your prospective in-laws might agree to give their son or daughter in marriage but demand that you leave the Gospel church you attend. At other times they might demand you come to perform some idolatrous rituals at the family house 🏡 or shrine, or place some demands that are contrary to God’s Word.
You MUST resist them VEHEMENTLY. Take a cue from Moses.
“And Pharaoh called unto Moses, and said, Go ye, serve the LORD; only let your flocks and your herds be stayed: let your little ones also go with you. And Moses said, Thou must give us also sacrifices and burnt offerings, that we may sacrifice unto the LORD our God. Our cattle also shall go with us; there shall not an hoof be left behind; for thereof must we take to serve the LORD our God; and we know not with what we must serve the LORD, until we come thither.”
Exodus 10:24-26 KJV
When they said that, he drove them away. He disagreed with them again. But in Exodus 12:31-32:
“And he called for Moses and Aaron by night, and said, Rise up, and get you forth from among my people, both ye and the children of Israel; and go, serve the LORD, as ye have said. Also take your flocks and your herds, as ye have said, and be gone; and bless me also.”
Exodus 12:31-32 KJV
Pharaoh eventually agreed because Moses and Aaron stood on their Faith.
Stand in your Faith.
If you believe, all things are possible. The Bible says, “Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.”
Mark 11:24 KJV
In Hebrews 10:35-36 God’s Word declares,
“Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.”
Hebrews 10:35-36 KJV
And verse 38 says, “Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.”
Hebrews 10:38 KJV
In planning marriage therefore, stand fast in Faith.
Though you encounter difficulties, remain in the Faith.
If you go back and begin to murmur about the WILL OF GOD being so difficult, you’ll make God displeased because He frowns at murmuring.
If it is the will of God for you to be joined to that individual, everything will work out 💪 just fine.
Depend upon HIM 👋.
You will be glad 😀 you did!
Remember, Obedience begets divine approval.
If you keep your eyes 👀 on the ball 🏀 you will never miss the goal.
Looking unto JESUS, the Author and Finisher of your Faith and you will always sail through the storms of life.
Let your life shine before others.
God, makes all things beautiful in HIS time.
God, give us a Christian Home in JESUS Mighty name amen 🙏.
JESUS WILL COME VERY SOON. Be READY!
Mrs Angelinah Olubunmi Peters
JESUS Is Alive In me