GOAL HARMONISATION CONTINUE:
Another marriage goal you harmonise during courtship is PROVISION. Marriage is for provision of Care, Love, Security, and other needs of each partner.
Ephesians 5:28-29, 33 KJV
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the LORD the church:
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Ephesians 5:28-29, 33 KJV
During your courtship therefore, think and discuss how you can provide for your partner, love and care for him or her till death separates you.
“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”
Genesis 1:28 KJV
Another marriage goal you will harmonize during courtship is
PROCREATION: God desires that you are blessed with children of your own after marriage. Matter-of-factly, this is one of the major reasons HE instituted marriage. During courtship, you discuss the number of children you will have and how these children will be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the LORD, as well as live fulfilled lives.
This point is re-echoed in Psalm 127:3-5
“Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”
Psalms 127:3-5 KJV
PURITY: is another marriage goal you harmonise during courtship. God’s word says in 1 Corinthians 7:2: “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:2 KJV
This is part of the purpose in marriage. Your marriage must make for purity. You must plan to the end that after marriage, you will be purer in thought, free from all women or men outside your matrimonial home and closer to God. 1 Timothy 5:23 issues a very clear command,
“KEEP THYSELF PURE” You must both harmonise how you will help in keeping yourselves pure.
Above all these, John 17:4 says: “I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.”
John 17:4 KJV
Your purpose in life is to glorify God. Your plan and goal must therefore include how to glorify God in your marriage.
There seems to be a big question in the hearts of many Believer’s on how to keep themselves pure during courtship. I will give you seven Scriptural helps on how to keep yourself pure during courtship.
Your choice of a place of meeting must not be such that can engender or encourage intimacy. It must neither be a secret place nor behind locked or closed doors.
Your choice of place of meeting should preferably be an open place where other people can easily see you.
You may be wondering why.
You must not forget that the devil is not asleep. Apostle Paul in Ephesians 4:7 counsels, “neither give place for the devil”. If you seek any dark or secret place to meet, you are giving place to the devil, and if you give the devil an inch, he will go a mile.
2 Corinthians 2:11 KJV
“Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.”
The posture of the man and the lady when they meet during courtship is equally important. During your meeting, your posture must not play on your partner’s emotion. You are not supposed to sit or recline in a way that will cause your partner’s heart to stray from purity and holiness. Your dressing must also be modest “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:”
1 Peter 3:5 KJV”
If these hints on posture are neglected you might become a stumbling block to your partner. And in Romans 14:13
“Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.”
Romans 14:13 KJV”
It is however sad to note that some Christians who are not thoroughly schooled in the Biblical teachings on Marriage advocate liberty during courtship. Such argue that since they have known the will of God there should be no constraint to their show of appreciation of one another. Such support their claim with 2 Corinthians 3:17
“ …..where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is liberty.”
But let such read 1 Corinthians 8:9 “But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.”
3. HIS PRESENCE:
During your meeting, the presence of God will help in keeping you pure. The compelling presence of God is all you need to keep you on the track of holiness. If you recognise the presence of God, there will be no conflict, no disagreement, no backbiting, and no questionable act will transpire between you both. The abiding presence of God is paramount to success in courtship.
Exodus 33:14-15 KJV
“And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest. And he said unto him, If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence.”
Never fail to invite God’s presence whenever you meet. It is better there is no meeting than for God’s presence not to be in your midst.
In your meeting, you must “abstain from all appearance of evil” according to the counsel in 1 Thessalonians 5:22. Let the air of purity wrap your conduct. Avoid every questionable act. Whatever you cannot do if God Almighty were physically present in your midst, avoid it during your meeting. Whatever you cannot do in the name of our LORD JESUS CHRIST, avoid it. If you cannot kiss your partner, if God Almighty were physically present, don’t kiss him or her during your meeting. A kiss is questionable during courtship. If you do that you are rising to the bait of the devil. It will stir up unholy desires in your emotion. And a simple bait like a kiss during courtship can lead to other immoral acts that are capable of draining Christians of all the fruit of the Spirit. During your courtship period, no counsel can be more helpful than this, “Abstain from all appearances of evil.”
5. PLAN AND PRIORITY
There is a godly counsel in
1 Corinthians 14:40: “Let all things be done decently and in order”. To make sure your discussion and meeting is fruitful, there should a deliberate and well planned scheme of how things should go in place. During courtship, always plan for things you will like to discuss in your meetings. It is good to be meticulous at this point. You can write out the plan of all you will like to discuss. As you do this, prioritise. Think of areas you will like to give preference to. When this is properly done, you can be sure of an orderly, meaningful and fulfilling meeting.
You must however be realistic in your planning. Patience is also very important as it is profitable.
Proverbs 19:2 reads, “Also, that the soul be without knowledge, it is not good; and he that hasteth with his feet sinneth.” Don’t be hasty in making decisions, as decisions made hastily can lead to regrets later.
All problems must be brought to God in prayer during courtship. There are diverse problems from both ends. The parents of either partner or even both parents might delay in giving consent. Either partner might have had a child out of wedlock. There could be financial difficulties in buildings the new home of your dream. You could be apprehensive of the demand of your would-be parents-in-law. It is necessary to pray about the wedding day. You should pray to God to rebuke unseen forces that wreck new families. You also need to claim all the promises of God for the family through prayer. You should ask for guidance and wisdom in planning your home. You need favour in the sight of your families, pray for this as well. You desire God to keep you pure through your courtship period, then you must also pray for this,
God’s word tells us,
“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”
James 1:5 KJV
So, be free to ask God what you desire for your home.
How should meetings during courtship end? If things have gone on well and both of you have had a nice time, it is befitting to lift up holy hands and praise the LORD. Perhaps knotty issues have been raised and solutions were very evasive, it is still good to lift up holy hands and praise the LORD. If either partner brought the report of his or her parents objections to the marriage, there is still cause to give praises to the LORD. God’s word admonishes, “In every thing give thanks for this is the will of God” 1 Thessalonians 5:18.
If you have spent a couple of hours in the meeting and the choice of place was ideal, the posture was edifying, the prayer was powerful, the presence of God was mightily felt, the purity was transparent and the plan was successfully laid out, then close the meeting with befitting praise to the One who has made everything go according to plan.
Till next month.
The LORD JESUS Shall order your steps in all your endeavours to know His Will for your life. You shall Never marry your enemy in the name of our LORD and Saviour JESUS CHRIST amen🙏
MY LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST LOVES ❤️ YOU.
Mrs Angelinah Olubunmi Peters
JESUS Is Alive In me