Hi guys, It’s me again;First of all I would like to thank everyone that takes time out to read these things week after week, Lord knows data is hard to come by, but you choose to go to ElizabethTPeters.com to read Gloria’s feature, you guys don’t know how much that has meant (and still means) to me, thank you. Now that we’re done with the mushiness, let’s do some real work here.
So a reader sent me this question late last year amidst the festivities, it goes:
“It was my birthday and I invited a little group of friends for a calm night out, bowling and dinner then a little get together at mine. Nothing too elaborate. I came with a good friend of mine in a car and a few others found their way to the venue. After a decent night out, it’s time to go home; I arrive at the car park to see some commotion around my car. My GOOD friend that I came with originally was being challenged for her position in the front seat of my car by a girl that I’ve been getting close to (if you get what I mean). My friend called dibs already on the front seat, the girl I like made a big deal out of it asking what right my friend had to seat in front, it was a sticky scenario and my friend ended up taking public transport, what could I have done to alleviate the situation?”
What a problem yeah? Just us girls fighting is scaring you like that, gentleman indeed (just kidding). Well one thing that’s been established is that both girls feel a certain measure of possessiveness and a sense of entitlement, the friend probably because:
1. She came with you in the car
2. She already called dibs on the front seat before crush started para-ing
And crush because, well, she’s the crush.
I’m not one to judge (actually, scratch that, I do when I’m in the mood to even care about whatever you’re doing wrong) is and I thought that I shouldn’t just give a response based on my take of the situation alone (I sought quite a number of opinions actually), it seems to me that your good friend may have at one time (and may still be sef) more than just a good friend, reason being that if an airhead (mind my language) my guy-friend is fixing on decides to fight for space (as if sitting at the back diminishes your worth or something), I’d just leave for the back to avoid any unwarranted embarrassment, then I’d tell my guy later that his girlfriend is rude and forget about it, it may be more than just a fight for the front seat, more like a fight for who’s more valuable to you, a conjecture really because if she’s a really good friend of yours, the expectation is as soon as miss crush starts to fight over nothing, you’d be able to reason with your good friend because of course you’ve known yourselves for a longer period of time and you should be able to reason with her, unless the car has only two seats, I see no reason why your good friend, although pissed (even I would be mildly irritated at the way she conducted herself in public) can’t sit at the back and later gist her other girlfriends so they can yab crush together (that’s what we girls do, lol), my take is good friend feels you should have come to her defence instead of a new crush whom you’re just attracted to, lemme break it down for you, so I have a friend (sorry boo, if you’re reading this, I’ve to use you as an example) whom I wanted a relationship with, I believe he did too with me but distance was a big issue for us, he was posted to the south-south and I school in the west, so big problem, now boo finds a girl in church he’s very attracted to, so he asks her out but for secondary reasons fail to inform me about it, now he drops the bomb on me one day so I ask him to tell me about her (one must know the competition, that’s a joke people, don’t take it serious), in the course of our discussion, I ask him what they talk about, and he responded with ‘I can’t, she’d be offended’ and I’m like ‘you’d rather I be offended than her?’. Now on a normal day, if we’d just been platonic friends, I wouldn’t ask that because bruv has the right to privacy with his girl, but I’ve got something at stake too, I’m losing my hold on him to a girl with ass like planets (he actually said that), that may have been how your ‘good friend’ felt, this may be why she was so pissed she took a cab but like I said it’s all just conjecture.
So it comes down to who’s the more reasonable of the girls and who are you closer to, I’d talk to the one who takes the faecal-like part of my attitude more (sorry, I’m not allowed to use some words*winks*), I’m guessing that’s good friend because, she’s also an old friend, I’d take her aside and apologize to her, tell her to please take the backseat, you know how you do your stuff now, bat your eyelid, whisper in her ear (I’m kidding), tell her it’s your birthday and it would make you happy and you’re sorry crush is acting up, I bet she’ll do it because of you, if you’re really as close as I’m guessing you are, this has two effects: it pacifies one and puts the other in her place, therefore even though crush gets the front seat, she’d still feel lousy because she wasn’t the one you took into your arms to get her to pipe down, you’re saying that even though you like her (‘cause if you didn’t her ass would be taking a cab home) fighting over something as insignificant as a car seat isn’t becoming of a lady, now you may say that you don’t want her to feel bad because you like her but methinks a lady who fights your friend for space at the front with you will check your phone in your absence when you start dating her, your girl-friends will probably run away from you because of your crazy ass girlfriend, and woe betide the girl you cheat with, she may get acid on her face (lmao, I’m just exaggerating, besides I’m sure you won’t cheat), another thing you could have done is check with your other friends and ask them to give your friend a ride(unless you’re the only one who came with a car) and also beg your friend to please take the ride, and call her when she gets home again, that way, you’re showing her that you didn’t just dump her with someone else for convenience, or you could forget all these ands tell them to get out of the car and zoom off,lol. That’s my take birthday boy.