Staring. Ogling. All but salivating – these are things I experience on an almost daily basis because of my body. I remember when I first hit puberty at like 10 years old and being so frightened because I was afraid I’d be among the first in class to start “becoming a woman” – and every single one of my teenage fears happened. I used to hear messages about women being the reason men sin, that it’s our fault when we get sexually harassed because of the way we dress and behave, so I used to go the extra mile NOT to look like I wanted that type of attention, majorly for the fear of causing others to sin.
Problem is, some guys are just out there looking to sin, there’s nothing you can do to prevent them from mentally objectifying you – even if you wore a bin bag. I learnt this the not so easy way and for a while I struggled with accepting myself, wishing and then striving hard to be skinny because the slim girls I knew didn’t get stared at or cat called as much as I did when I went out.
I came to realize that some guys will just choose to be that guy, it’s what they know to do that they will. So instead of chastising myself every time I notice a guy responding inappropriately to my body, I’ll just say a prayer for them and hope they develop the ability to put their flesh under subjection.
Is it easy? Not at all, especially at the stage in my life that I’m at presently, where I have to sift between actual serious suitors and those that are just pretending with hopes to “get lucky”; but I’m sure God is aware of everything and won’t lead me astray.
Till next time,
Dr. ETP xo