For Peju, Seyi, Ayodele, Leo, Caleb, Dunsin… Always in my corner, always pushing me to do more cause well… They have this unerring belief that I can do more…

 

For Blessing who showed me that introspection is good for the soul, and who unwittingly inspired this piece.

 

Tabula Rasa: Latin for ‘Blank Slate’, an opportunity to begin again with no record, history or preconceived ideas.’

 

I know this is a late post, but biko, Plix, ejoor, abeg… indulge me… Oya back to the matter.

 

I’ve never been one for the New Year New Resolutions gang. The idea that the slate would be wiped clean, tabula rasa; just like that, just because it’s a new year is entirely foreign to me.

 

Before I proceed, here’s a thing you need to understand about me as an individual… I’ve always been afraid to fail… So well… As you may or may not be able to guess, I never do anything (okay…maybe almost sha). The fear is such that I literally have to be pushed, clawing and kicking before I do or agree to do anything challenging.

 

But of recent, I’ve come to realise that it’s not enough knowing you can do it, you have to do it. Our successes and our failures define who we are and who we ultimately become, and we cannot succeed if we’re too afraid to test the waters, if we’re too afraid to find out what may, if we’re too afraid to give life a trial.

 

So this year, I made a resolution or resolutions… To leave my comfort zone behind and take on more responsibility. (Lol… Leo is always yabbing me; as per couch potato extraordinaire).

I had nothing to lose afterall… So, I prepared a checklist.

 

Yes Peju, stop giving me the side eye. I’ll write the damned novel goddamit! Sorry, no swearing allowed in this post. And Ayodele, I’ll do the compilation… Ultimately.

 

Today is the 9th day of January 2017, and that resolution has already been tested twice.

The first instance, I kid you not… I faltered, I balked. After which I scrambled to initiate damage control in a bid to stay the course.

The Second… Well… It’s still in the works. Let’s just say I did not shy away from the onset.

 

For the first time in a while, given my penchant for procrastination, – see ehn, I can procrastinate for Africa- I have a plan, or at least a semblance of it.

 

And though I still do not subscribe to the tabula rasa effect of the new year, I’ve come to appreciate it as a sort of marker, a timeline for assessing my aspirations and proposed achievements within a given period of time, to measure my growth at its end, and take cognisance of the fact that I can and will do better next year.

 

4 COMMENTS

  1. Well, I think partially, I fall in this category. Almost never leaving my comfort zone, usually for the fear of failure or mistakes. I have a jammed year of resolutions already, so I will wait for ’18 ..

    AWESOME write up.

LEAVE A REPLY