WISE IN COMMUNICATION:
Wisdom in communication is needful in building a home. Many women wreck their homes because of evil communication. A wife needs wisdom to communicate with her husband.
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”
Proverbs 14:1 KJV
Also, in the fourth verse of Proverbs 15 we read that ” A wholesome tongue is a tree of life” if you want your husband to enjoy the tree of life, your communication will show it.
Proverbs 31:26 says of a virtuous woman, “she openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” An accomplished wife should allow wisdom to guide her Communication with her husband.
Industrious in Caring, Innocent in Character:
The wife, by her life, must be above reproach in her attitude to domestic chores. Cleanliness contributes to happiness in the home. The wife who is industrious in caring will be careful in house keeping, as well as seeing to the needs of her husband and her household.
Proverbs 31:27 says, “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:27 KJV
That is the blessing of the wife who is industrious in caring.
But the wife is not only expected to be industrious in caring. She must be innocent in character. The innocent wife exclusively belongs to her husband no matter how strong temptation from neighbours and colleagues are. She must not conduct herself in a way that stirs suspicion in the heart of her husband. The innocent wife does not keep letters or text messages from her husband because of the filthiness of their content.
In Proverbs 31:10-12, we see the character of an innocent wife.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
Proverbs 31:10-12 KJV
Faithful in Companionship, Forgiving in Conflict:
The wife should strive to be the husband’s burden-sharer. In her role as wife she should support, Comfort, and care for her husband. When the going is rough in the office she should be a faithful companion at such times. When he has problems with in-laws she must be close enough to Comfort him. Anytime the husband comes home, she should make the home comely for him. It is helpful to be sensitive to your husband’s emotional feeling.
When there is conflict, let there be a readiness to forgive from your end. Whenever you have a conflict remember Ephesians 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:32 KJV
Excellent in Counsel and Comfort:
Journeying through the married life can be chequered by fluctuating emotions, joy, dread and sometimes fear. When the heart is heavy on this journey, a wife excellent in counsel and Comfort is of great price. David exemplifies a burdened husband without a counselling and comforting wife. Psalm 69:20, “Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.”
Psalms 69:20 KJV
This is the husband’s lot when there is no comforting wife. And if you are the wife, your husband should not have this problem.
The husband is not left out.
An accomplished husband too must be able to live a life that spells the world “husband.” He must be:
Holy in Conscience:
Understanding in conversation, criticism and correction.
Strong in caring and compassion
Blameless at home, and abroad
Abiding in the Covenant of marriage
Noble in courage
Dependable in contribution to family needs.
The newly married man will spend time learning how his wife will say and demonstrate what is contained in this acrostic.
Holy in Conscience
After you have married, God wants you to stay with your wife alone. A worthy husband does not go into extral-marital affairs. You MUST not think upon a maid after you are married. Like Job, you should make bold to say, “I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?”
Job 31:1 KJV
You know what the Bible says about a married man that looks upon or touch another woman? “So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.”
Proverbs 6:29 KJV
Understanding in Conversation, Correction and Criticism:
Conversation, Correction and Criticism (constructive) are lubricants in the wheel of the married life. They help to build the couple and the home. But they are two-edged sword. If used properly, they will build and make your home what it should be. If crudely applied they are liable to destroy your home. The husband stands in the position to employ these three factors to the benefit of the home. A husband who understands and is willing to live up to his God-given responsibilities, must understand the art of conversation, correction and criticism. What you say in discussion, in correction and criticism goes a long way in shaping your wife and winning her confidence, or otherwise wounding her and making her withdraw from you.
“The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.”
Proverbs 16:23 KJV
Many husbands become defensive when they are counselled to change their mode of conversation, correction and criticism. They believe they are at their best. But they discover, more often than not that they are not really at their best.
Before you criticise your wife therefore, consider the following points:
1. When something goes wrong at home, don’t assume you know who is at fault.
2. Get all facts straight before you say a word in condemnation or commendation.
3. Don’t bring past offences into the present situation. Treat the fresh situation in isolation and let go of the past.
4. Manifest live and self-control in your temper while you are correcting your wife.
5. When correcting do it in private. Don’t admit a third party into your correction or criticism. Never correct your wife openly.
6. Correction and criticism is supposed to be like an operation in which anaesthetic is first applied to the diseased part. Your correction will be very bitter and painful if anaesthetic is not applied. Before you correct your wife, make sure you have prayed. Love her, commend her good points and show genuine interest in her welfare. Having done all that, you gently and lovingly correct her.
7. Own up where you are wrong and do so sincerely.
8. Create a good atmosphere for her to talk. Listen to her side of the story and defend her if this is necessary.
9. Protect her dignity and personality.
10. Suggest specific steps to prevent the recurrence of such mistakes.
11. Pray for and with her in faith.
12. Forgive and forget. Bear no grudge against her. Let love continue.
Let the words of the wise man in Proverbs 15:23 guide your communication with your wife.
“A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!”
Proverbs 15:23 KJV.
TO BE CONTINUED.
May the Good LORD Preserve, Protect, and continue to Guide us all till we see HIM and reign with HIM in JESUS Victorious name amen🙏