To my darling Troy and Gabby whom I love so passionately.
Marriage has been made to seem very complex before our eyes right from elementary school when it was defined to us. However, the major challenge wasn’t the definition but that we never got to see the practical of this session or get the template upon which this institution was to function. The best reflection we then had of what a relationship was to be was that of our parents. The real issue is that some of the parents’ marriages weren’t exactly what God’s standard for marriage is, also what happened to those who didn’t have one of their parents? Or persons who didn’t have parents at all? They were then left with just a mere definition of what a relationship should be with no practical guidance. This in turn has led to so much confusion and marriage failures over the years simply because as artists we are trying to replicate a painting of a portrait we haven’t seen. All these have led to my writing this letter to you Troy and to you my darling Gabriella.
Ephesians 5:21-33 (which I encourage you to read first before going on with this letter). From this scripture we see that God’s template for marriage is the relationship between Christ and the Church, whereby Christ (the Head), is jointly connected to the Church (the body). The equivalent of which means firstly that none can exist without the other and be fully functional. Thus, it becomes evident that once two become one, as much as the wife needs the husband, so also does the husband need the wife (here we see that Jesus actually needs us “the body”).
Secondly, the bible goes ahead to do some role defining for both the husband and the wife, while stating that the reason why people will fulfil the defined roles is out of their respect for Christ (v21). So Gabriella, if you want to see a man that honours God, check out how he treats his wife, and Troy, if you want to see a woman that honours God, check out how she treats her husband. That being said, ladies are to be supportive to their husbands just has the church is supportive to the course of Christ (which is to redeem the world and all that dwell therein) (v22). In contrast, men have the greater role to play in the relationship, which is to lead the drive to destiny. The type of leadership a man provides for his wife is not one that is domineering but cherishing. Husbands are to go all out in love for their wife as Jesus treats his church, everything he says to her is to be strategically calculated to bring the best out of her, His words are to evoke her beauty, while he washes her feet daily by the washing of the word of God, admonishing her in the way of the lord. (So Gabriella, if you are in a relationship heading towards marriage and Troy is loose with abusive words towards you on any occasion, let alone raises his hand to hit you, it’s best to get out of that relationship RIGHT NOW!!!), (Troy, if Gabby hasn’t gotten tutelage from Christ in her relationship with Him, don’t pick her up as a support because she has no idea how to get that done. Only Christ can show her, not you).
The third lesson from this passage guys, is that nobody abuses his own body, but pampers it and feeds it. That’s how Christ treats his church, so Troy that’s how to treat Gabby even when it seems she is unlovable. He who is forgiven much appreciates much, when you constantly show Gabby compassion rather than raise angry fists towards her, a natural respect and love for you will grow from within her.
One last advice Troy, your ideal Gabriella is in your mind, so you have to groom reality Gabriella with her potential to be the ideal Gabriella you always dreamt about as a little boy.
God is Love
Yours Sincerely,
Rev. T
